just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
