that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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