I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
