When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just gift wrapped bread.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
