He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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