They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize