Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize