Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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