If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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