hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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