I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
FUCK WHALES
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
