dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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