i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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