How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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