Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize