I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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