Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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