If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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