butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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