maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
