I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
