just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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