I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
