Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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