you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
