You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
