my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
