I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
did you just send me my own nude
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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