I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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