I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
