Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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