So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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