3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
