hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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