There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize