I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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