tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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