went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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