I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize