winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize