How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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