Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
