where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
