We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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