You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
