There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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