Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
