peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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