It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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