mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs