Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile

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(908): View more from New Jersey

There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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(212): View more from New York

It's never good when you wake up covered with burns

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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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(773): View more from Illinois

At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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(503): View more from Oregon

Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.

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(519): View more from Ontario

There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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