all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
