OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me