it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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