he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
