But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
