We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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