after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
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My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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