jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
