I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And then the night went full on bisexual.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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