he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
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Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown