Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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