I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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