My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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