I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
