my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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